A Change of Heart
by Hermione12124
Summary: Marauder Fic: [He stared into the fire, searching for words. After a moment, he replied, Lily, do you believe in... love?] Lily and Remus talk about life, love, and James Potter. Lily has a dream that involves James. Will she give him a chance?


Please review!  
I completely redid this whole one-shot. I hope you like the renovation. Looking forward to reviews! ;o)

**1. ...Maybe**

Lily Evans was lying on her dorm room four poster bed, still awake with her emerald eyes wide open. Her dark red hair was splayed on her starchy white pillow. She tossed and turned restlessly for a few minutes, unable to get to sleep, and sighed loudly.

"_Lumos_," she muttered, shifting her illuminated wand toward the bedside table where her muggle clock was sitting. It read: 12:02 am. Lily sighed again.

She knew she would never be able to get to sleep; the NEWTS were just around the corner and a wizard, who named himself Lord Voldemort, was quickly gaining power to control the entire wizarding world. How could she not be worried?

She slowly got up, slipped on a pair of jeans, a top, and sneakers, and pulled her red hair into a messy bun. Book in hand; she made her way down the cold stone steps to the cozy Gryffindor Common Room, hoping to get some peace and quiet so she could break into the huge pile of homework she had to do for every subject.

But to her immediate surprise, Remus Lupin was sitting on the squishy red couch in front of the common room fire. His head was in his hands, and his slender elbows were resting on his knees. Long light brown hair with flecks of gray fell over his hands, shielding his face from view.

Lily carefully and quietly moved closer, trying not to startle him by making too much noise.

"Remus?" she whispered cautiously.

He looked up in surprise. Even though he was only seventeen years old, his face was already aging. Fine wrinkles were already forming on his cheeks and forehead, and he looked at least ten years older than he really was.

"Oh, hello, Lily. I couldn't sleep," he said quietly, forcing himself to smile. He looked down again and started to gently rub his temples with the palms of his hands.

Lily set her books down on a round mahogany table and made her way towards the couch, sitting next to the future professor. "Are you okay?" she whispered, a worried look on her almost always joyful face.

"I'll be fine," he replied. He shrugged his shoulders and his eyes flickered past her own. They were a wolfish golden color, one that she had never seen before.

Lily wasn't fooled, however; He seemed troubled. "Are you sure?"

Remus sighed, gazing into the blazing fire and continuing to massage his temples. "It's just... that man, You-Know-Who and his followers... anything could happen, anyone could die..."

Lily nodded. "I understand. When my parents died... it was terrible. But when I get out of school, I will try to contribute to the good side of the war as muck as I can."

Remus did not say anything; he only gave a little sigh.

Lily looked around the dark room, as if looking for something to say to ease his mind. "Potter... does he ever grow up?" Lily asked Remus.

Remus shook his head. "I suppose not. But even though he is conceited, you should give him a chance. He likes you."

Lily snorted. "He likes all things with boobs."

Remus chuckled. "I suppose so, but he especially likes you."

"And why's that? I'm no prettier then some of the other girls in this school."

Remus stared into the fire, searching for words. After a moment, he replied, "Lily, do you believe in... love?"

Lily's eyebrows knitted in confusion. Why was he asking her this? "I suppose so. Why?"

Remus sighed. "Well... you see... What you have to understand first, Lily, is that it is hard for a guy to... express his feelings to his friends, especially to someone like Sirius. Sirius didn't understand his feelings, but I did… kind of… at least more then he did. He tried to convey his feelings for you." He turned to Lily. "Do you ever wonder why he is so protective of you? Did you ever ask yourself why James always defends you when you are insulted or hurt? Why he is always disappointed every time you turn him down for a date?"

Lily bit her tongue hard, the wheels turning quickly in her head. What point was he coming to?

When Lily did not answer, Remus continued. "You see, Lily, James has grown to care for you. He doesn't just like you... it's more complicated than that."

Lily started to breathe heavily. Confusion hit her mind like a tidal wave, obliterating all of her senses. "What do you mean?"

Remus gave a melancholy sigh and wrung his hands. "I don't know if it would be right… for me to be the person to tell you. Maybe you should ask James."

Her heart was beating unusually fast, craving the information Remus was hanging right in front of her, just out of reach. "No," she said quickly, "You can tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone you said anything." She sounded desperate.

Remus looked at her intensely, as if searching her. "I'm pretty sure that… he's… fallen in love with you. You can see it in his eyes… every time you turn him down it looks like he shrugs it off, but I can tell he's hurt."

Lily stared into the fire, thinking hard. Was it true? Did Potter really care for her that much?

After a while of silence, Remus cleared his throat. "You are my friend, Lily. I think you have the right to know my secret." When Lily didn't say anything, he continued. "If I would tell you, it's possible you might not want to be my friend anymore."

"What do you mean-?"

"Lily…" said Remus, "You see… when I was very young, I was… bitten…" He looked into her eyes. "by a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback."

Lily's eyebrows knitted. "Oh…"

"I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore… it has happened before…"

"Of course I want to be your friend, Remus! It's just... surprising. I'm so sorry it happened. Maybe there's something I can do."

I don't think so. My best friends… Sirius, Peter and James, they have done so much for me. I owe them everything."

Lily smiled pleasantly. Maybe she just didn't know Potter as well as she thought.

Remus smiled. "I'm glad you're my friend, Lily."

Lily nodded and grinned back. "I'm glad I'm your friend, too."

Looking considerably more cheerful, Remus stood and looked down at Lily. "I feel a lot better now. I think I'll go to bed." He walked towards the staircase but stopped, turning around. "Thanks."

Lily nodded, understanding. "You're welcome." She watched as he shone her a good night smile and walked up the stone steps toward the boy's dormitory.

She stared into the fire, thinking about Remus, his lycanthropy, Voldemort, but mostly about James: how he was so hard to figure out, why he always asked her out on a date, practically every day, and why he kept trying, just to be turned down and humiliated. She didn't understand James Potter at all, but if what Remus said was true, then maybe he wasn't so bad after all. But about what he said about James's feelings… well, if he was speaking the truth, then Lily was frightened.

The steady swaying of the flames caused Lily to feel drowsy. She lay back onto the soft couch, closed her eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

_"Lily!" a sweet, stern voice struck the busy air of the train station.___

_"Yes, mother?" Lily replied, turning to her.___

_"Give me a hug and a kiss goodbye!" Lily smiled and embraced her mother, already getting homesick. She turned to her father, who had a smile on his handsome face. ___

_"Now, don't hurt yourself with any of this "magic". And, remember: always follow your heart, and it won't guide you faultily." He tightly hugged his daughter and held her at arms length. "My beautiful baby… already eleven years old and all grown up…what am I ever going to do with you?"___

_The young girl giggled as a single tear ran down her cheek.___

_The man frowned. "Don't cry. We'll always be here," he said, pointing to her chest, "In your heart. Forever."___

_Lily smiled sadly and turned around as the train conductor shouted, "Last call for Hogwart's students!"___

_Lastly, she looked at her sister, Petunia. She had a sad look on her face, a longing to go with her sister to Hogwarts. "I'll see you in the summer, Tuney," she said, looking into her older sister's eyes.___

_Petunia sniffed. "See you, sis."___

_Lily gave her a smile and her parents one last hug and good-bye, and walked towards the train door with her trunks in hand.___

_When she got on the train it started to roll on the metal tracks, and she turned around, giving one last glance to her parents, who were waving proudly from the platform and her sister, who was also waving with a sad look on her face. Lily waved back, tears sliding down her cheeks. ___

_Lily found an empty compartment halfway down the train and sat down. A few minutes later a girl with a warm, round face walked in. ___

_"May I sit here?" she asked nervously. "All of the other compartments are taken…"___

_"Sure!" She hoped she would become this girl's friend. "Hi, I'm Lily," she said, holding out her hand.___

_The girl smiled and shook it. "My name is Alice. It's nice to meet you."___

_The compartment door opened again and a boy with unruly black hair and glasses stepped in. When he saw Lily his jaw dropped and he stared at her.___

_"Can I help you?" she asked calmly.___

_The boy smiled sheepishly and stuttered, "Hi, I-I'm James P-Potter."___

_"Hmm?" Lily hummed in a that's-very-nice-but-what-do-you-want? sort of way.___

_"I…" he ran his hand through his hair.___

_Lily raised her eyebrows.___

_"I…" He looked around like a frightened deer and ran out of the compartment.___

_Alice rolled her brown eyes. "Boys…"__  
_

_"What do you think you're doing? Stop that!" Lily screamed at James Potter, who had his wand pointed at Severus Snape, her friend, who was dangling upside down from his ankle as if an invisible rope was tied around it from a transparent beam.___

_The rest of the Marauders were standing beside him: mousy Peter Pettigrew, clearly enjoying James' cruelty; Remus Lupin, books in his arms and looking away guiltily; and the naturally handsome Sirius Black, wand out and a smirk on his face._

_"Just having a little fun…" James replied lazily, flicking his wand down, causing Snape to fall in a heap of black robes and greasy hair on the corridor floor.___

_Fury raged inside Lily, seeping out of every pore in her body. "Fun? You call this, hexing an innocent boy _fun_?" Who did he think he was, shooting curses at whoever was in his way?___

_James replied, "Snivellus isn't innocent, he's a Slytherin!"___

_Lily narrowed her eyes. "Being a Slytherin has nothing to do with it, Potter," she hissed. "He didn't do anything to you today!" Her eyes moved to behind James, where Severus was stepping backwards toward his wand while keeping an eye on all four Marauders. ___

_"Yes he did," James huffed.___

_Lily snapped, "Then what?"___

_"He..." He caught Severus' movement in the corner of his hazel eye; he whipped around and shouted, "_Levicorpus_!" with his wand pointed at Snape, who had just picked up his own and was pointing it at James with a white hand.___

_Again, Snape was flung into the air by his ankle; all the blood rushed to his head and he looked unnaturally red compared to his usual self___

_Lily's face turned even redder than Snape's. "I can't believe you, Potter!" she shrieked.___

_Sirius stepped up beside his friend. "C'mon, Lils, we're just having a little entertainment-"___

_"Shut up, Black! And you," she snarled, spitting knives and turning again to James, "You are pathetic." She stabbed James in the chest with her pointer finger, making him wince. "You like to do this to people... Severus is a good person, unlike you... I don't know how you got into Gryffindor. You are not brave... you take joy in other's faults to cover up for your own. You make me sick." She jabbed her finger into his chest again and stalked away, leaving a shocked and pondering James in her wake._

_She stared at the letter from her sister, Petunia, her eyes welling up with tears at the words. How could this happen? How could her parents be dead? They were killed by Death Eaters, but why? Why did they have to take the lives of her parents? It didn't seem right. ___

_She didn't care that there were four Marauders in the room, one of which she hated, who were probably planning their next prank on the Slytherins, more specifically, Severus Snape. ___

_She didn't care that they could hear her crying her eyes out because she lost the only caring family she had; Petunia had grown to despise her just like she had James because she was so jealous of Lily's magic.___

_The only thing she cared about was her family; knowing that she would never see them again, knowing that it was guaranteed that it was her fault they were gone; she was a witch, and because of that the danger was increased for her family. The Death Eaters did not care about who they murdered.___

_She held her head in her hands, not caring that her makeup was streaming down her face and seeping into her mouth, mixed with her salty tears.___

_She didn't hear the chair scraping on the stone floor and the footsteps coming towards her. She felt a strong hand barely brush her slender shoulder. She wiped the tears away from her eyes and looked up.___

_She expected to see one of her close friends standing there, waiting to give out comfort, maybe even Remus, but she didn't.___

_Instead James Potter stood there awkwardly, a worried expression on his face. Why was he standing there?___

_"Are you alright, Lily?" he asked, his dark eyebrows coming together.___

_Why did he care? He didn't. It was another one of his feeble attempts to make her change her opinion of him so she would go out on a date with him, just to leave her and hook up with another one of his blonde tramp idols.___

_"Get away from, me, Potter," she snapped, tears still spilling down her sodden cheeks. She ran up the stairs to her dormitory. When she touched the doorknob, however, she remembered she had forgotten her letter.___

_She sprinted back down the steps to find James finishing reading Petunia's letter with it clutched in his fist, a look of sympathy on his face.___

_She scowled. He didn't know what she was going through; he didn't lose his parents! She walked up to him and ripped the paper out of his hands, and started to run up the stairs again.___

_Lily felt James grab her elbow, but she tore it from his grasp. "Just leave me alone!" she choked. Her legs felt like lead as she dashed up the stone steps.___

_She could hear James trying to run up the stairs, only to get caught in one of Hogwart's many enchantments and slide down the ramp, while he pleadingly called her name... "Lily! Lily! Lily..."_

"Lily!" This voice was the same, but not from her dream. "Lily!" She kept her eyes closed and silently groaned.

"What?" she grumbled, finally opening her eyes and looking into the concerned face of James Potter. He was still wearing his pajamas, his hair as messy as ever and his round glasses askew.

"Lily, you were crying in your sleep," James whispered urgently. He ran a hand through his dark hair, looking nervous.

Lily put her hand up to her face and felt that it was damp from tears. "What time is it?" she asked groggily, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

James pulled out the watch he had apparently gotten for his seventeenth birthday. "Two o' clock in the morning," he muttered hoarsely.

Lily groaned and stood up, looking at James. It finally hit her who it was. She scowled at him.

James, to her surprise, looked hurt. Lily immediately felt guilty. She bit her lip. "I think I should be getting to bed," she whispered.

James' hazel eyes flickered towards Lily's emerald ones. He looked disappointed. "I guess," he muttered quietly.

They stood there a few moments not looking at each other. Finally Lily turned and walked towards the steps towards the girl's dormitory.

She heard James softly call behind her, "'Night, Lily."

Lily slowly spun around and gave him a small smile. "'Night James."

She turned back around quickly, but not before she saw James' face brighten and him shine her a _true _smile, the first she had ever seen.


End file.
